what in the world?

all the time i am sitting here thinking about what in the world...

I grabbed my lady and said “baby, I wanna whisper in your mouth.”
I can feel her breath and my breath having a meeting between our lips,
anticipating a sensation so great with my hand upon her hips and I said
”baby, I wanna whisper in your mouth.”
Looking in her eyes hypnotized me.
The background, the sound, nothing else going on around meant anything to me.
In this moment in time the only thing on my mind is this magnificent creation of God
that I have had the honor of being with and I said
“baby, I wanna whisper in your mouth.”
I take my hands off her hips and I stroke her hair with my fingers,
rub my face against her neck she has a beautiful aroma that lingers.
It consumes my nose and curls my toes.
With a feeling so high, where am I? Who knows?
I get a tap on my …shoulder, I look over a man says, ”Sir, the line is moving forward. Will you please step up?
There is no time for you and her to make out.
I said “I wasn’t kissing her, I was whispering in her mouth.”

its been a long 24 hours
i have come to the realization that
i am a good man
i am worth being happy
i am not bitter
i just hope that you find what you are looking for
i thought i was it but i see now i wasnt even close
you want to go out and look for something you had
you were too blind to see that i am that man that would give up every thing for you
oh well
we live and we learn

to has been a lazy day.
i am trying to get used to this cpap machine
i have been fighting it all the way
i know its suppose to help me sleep better and not feel tired
but is so uncomfortable
its like someone is blowing in you face all the time while you are trying to sleep
i am also trying to deal with a break up with a woman that i love
i have been stubborn about alot
and i guess that i am being stubborn about this because i do love her
and there wasnt anything that we couldnt have worked out
i mean i never gave up
its depressing
i have been dealing with depression most of my life
and she did make me happy.

where did i go so wrong?

today is a new day
but i cant help but thing about yesterday
i had a vision of what i wanted my future to be
but it went so wrong
yes i made some mistakes
but i never stopped trying
i had plans for us to be together
but it went so wrong
yes i didnt always make it to the top
but i never stopped loving you.....

i hope one day you can see that i was a good man

what you do to me...

i keep thinking about the way it used to be
the way you used to look at me
the sparkle in your eyes
it made me feel loved
i tried to love you
fuck that i loved you there wasnt a try in it
i still love you
if i didnt love you i wouldnt still be going my hardest
the laughs
the cries
the holding you at night
the kisses
the hugs
the smiles
i shared my world with you
i shared my life with you
and all i wanted was your unconditional love
because thats all i ever gave you
no matter what was going on
the kids
your family
my family
no matter what
i love you
yea i hold you up on a pedestal
you are a smart loving sexy caring beautiful strong creative intelligent woman
and why shouldnt i look up to?
you make me better
you make me try harder
you make me reach farther
you make me jump higher
you make me love more about life
you make me better
thats what you do to me

what i want

i want so badly to scream at you and make you understand
i want so badly to knock some sense into you
i want so badly to get you to see
but all of that would be pointless i see
you want to be free
i want you with me
you want to push forth into the sky
i want you to come be by my side
you want to explore the world around
i want you to look at the tears i cry
i cant help that i long for you
you have been my world and i am lost without you
do i let you go?
i dont know......


unfinished